User blog:Mavnol333/ESB Underwater Episode 15: ESB's Got Talent (UNCENSORED)



A FEW MINUTES LATER A FEW HOURS LATER TWO MINUTES LATER LATER IN ROCK BOTTOM’S BUS STATION
 * Mavnol333: Last time on ESB Underwater, after the contestants watched a little bit of TV, they went diving for some goo, built balls, raced to a mountain, almost died, and took a swim. But before then, Sharko and PlanKrab made an alliance that PlanKrab has to keep a complete secret from Cmc and SpongeTron. Dude will be a goner if word gets out. In the end, GuyBesideYou3 won the challenge for the Wet Warriors, and in a shocking turn of events, they got to choose which Liquid Leader went home that night. The Wet Warriors agreed to eliminate PlanKrab due to him being a huge threat, but Chickenkrispies butted in and chose to eliminate GoldenSpongebob. See ya later, bro. We’re down to the last 13 players, and they’re gonna have to work extra hard to win in this talent-filled episode of ESB Underwater!
 * [Theme song plays]
 * [GuyBesideYou3 wakes up]
 * GuyBesideYou3: [yawn] Another fun-filled day of torment and anxiety. [gets out of bed and steps on Chickenkrispies’ head]
 * Chickenkrispies: [wakes up] OW! Huh?
 * GuyBesideYou3: What the hell are you doing on the ground?
 * Chickenkrispies: Somebody wrote “KFC SUCKS” on my mattress in permanent ink! There’s no way I’ll be sleeping there ever again.
 * GuyBesideYou3: So… you’re sleeping on the floor?
 * Chickenkrispies: Yep!
 * GuyBesideYou3: Nice. Now, I gotta talk to you. Why did you eliminate GoldenSpongebob last night? He is NOT a threat! PlanKrab is!
 * Chickenkrispies: But GoldenSpongebob insulted KFC! He said the food wasn’t that good! He insulted the Colonel…
 * GuyBesideYou3: Still, GoldenSpongebob would NOT have gotten in our way. You have got to stop thinking about this KFC nonsense if you actually want to win this game.
 * Chickenkrispies: [sigh]
 * [Transition to the Liquid Leaders’ room]
 * PlanKrab: [wakes up and looks at his alarm clock] It’s only 7 AM-er-er? [sigh] Whatever.
 * Cmcgrath26: [wakes up and stretches] Oh Lord, yesterday was awful. I could barely sleep.
 * PlanKrab: Heh, I wonder how much sleep Krispies got-er-er.
 * Cmcgrath26: Ha, yeah. I bet he got-
 * Mavnol333 (on the intercom): Oh, great! You dirtbags have finally woken up! Get out of bed and come to the dining area! I have a SPECIAL surprise!
 * Alex (in the confessional): ANOTHER surprise? First, the other team got to eat school supplies, then we all got a breakfast that gave us food poisoning. What’s next, a deceased intern for lunch?
 * TheKorraFanatic: Augh, it’s 7 in the morning! Why can’t you let us get some sleep?!
 * Mavnol333 (on the intercom): Because I’m a morning person and I want you guys up with me. Haha. Now hurry up and get to the dining area before I make my interns serve you cardboard for breakfast!
 * TheKorraFanatic: Sounds better than the rest of your meals.
 * Mavnol333 (on the intercom): You’re hilarious Sweetheart. I’ll make sure to keep that in mind when your next challenge starts.
 * TheKorraFanatic: Ugh.
 * [The contestants make their way to the dining area]
 * Mavnol333: Nice to see you all here. But not really. Today is a very special day. Do you know why?
 * Alex: You learned how to tie your shoes?
 * TheKorraFanatic: You grew your first chest hair?
 * Louis219: You’re finally potty-trained?
 * Mavnol333: Not funny, yes but that’s beside that point, and not funny. Today, both teams have been dissolved. You have all made it to the merge. Congratulations.
 * The contestants: WAHOO!
 * Louis219 (in the confessional): The teams are merging? Finally. One more second with Chickenkrispies and his KFC talk and I probably would’ve damaged him.
 * Mavnol333: Yep, the Liquid Leaders and Wet Warriors are no more. From here on out, it’s every player for themselves. At the end of every challenge from now on, only one contestant will be winning. The winner will be the only one with immunity and every other contestant will be on the chopping block.
 * The contestants: Aw.
 * Sharko (in the confessional): And what could be better than being in an alliance with the strongest player in the game? Hehehe.
 * Cmcgrath26: [raises hand] Wait a minute, since we’re not on teams anymore, does that mean that WE get to decide where to sleep?
 * Mavnol333: Pfft, no. I’m not that generous. You should know that by now. Some of you guys will be switching rooms, and some of you guys will be getting new roommates. When I call your name, you will be sleeping in the Wet Warriors’ room for now on. Alex, Sharko…
 * Alex (in the confessional): He did that on purpose! I hate that motherfucker!
 * Mavnol333: ...PlanKrab, Cmcgrath26, SpongeTron D…
 * PlanKrab (in the confessional): I’m in the same room with Sharko and Cmc and SpongeTron AGAIN-er-er! I gotta find a way to hide my alliances from both of them.
 * Mavnol333: ...Chickenkrispies, and MergeBesideYou3. You will all be camping in there for the rest of the competition.
 * GuyBesideYou3 (in the confessional): For a moment, I actually thought that I would get a break from Chickenkrispies’ stupid KFC crap every night. But, Mavnol took my one chance at happiness and crushed it. Crushed it into little tiny bite-sized pieces.
 * Mavnol333: The contestants who will be sleeping in the Liquid Leaders’ room are Louis219, Albert’s Country…
 * Louis219 (in the confessional): Great, I’m with the guy who has a thing for senior citizens.
 * Mavnol333: ...CartoonGuy…
 * Louis219 (in the confessional): Okay, that makes two people with a thing for senior citizens.
 * Mavnol333: ...Dededeletethis, Koolkitty108…
 * Dededeletethis (in the confessional): I’m with Koolkitty? AGAIN?! Great, that’s the last thing I need. The other night, she glued herself to the ceiling to see what “sleeping on the ceiling” feels like. At 1 AM, she fell off and landed on my head.
 * Mavnol333: ...and last AND least, Sweetheart.
 * TheKorraFanatic: UGH, JUST SHUT UP!
 * TheKorraFanatic (in the confessional): Mavnol brings out the absolute worst in me. I feel like I’m gonna blow.
 * Mavnol333: I can’t shut up. I’m a host. If I shut up, I don’t get paid.
 * TheKorraFanatic: Gee, that’s tragic.
 * Mavnol333: Indeed it is. Now everybody head off to their rooms. We’ll begin the challenge in 20 minutes.
 * [The contestants walk away and head over to their rooms]
 * [PlanKrab walks in the Liquid Leaders’ room]
 * PlanKrab: Sorry for interrupting-er-er. Just came to get my pet bunny.
 * Albert’s Country: [on a bed reading a magazine] Alright, but don’t get your grubby claws all over my magazines.
 * PlanKrab: You mean the magazines that have old ladies with no clot-
 * Albert’s Country: Yes! Don’t touch them!
 * PlanKrab: Okay-er-er… [takes his bunny cage and leaves]
 * Cmcgrath26: [pokes his head in the door]
 * Albert’s Country: What now?
 * Cmcgrath26: I’m just… getting my rat magazines.
 * Albert’s Country: You like weird magazines too?
 * Cmcgrath26: Oh, yeah. I don’t know why, but they’re just fun to read.
 * Albert’s Country: Huh. Nice. Cya
 * Cmcgrath26: [grabs magazines] Cya. [walks out of the room]
 * Albert’s Country: Heh. He’s alright.
 * PlanKrab: [walks in the Wet Warriors’ room] Alright-er-er, I think everybody’s situated.
 * Cmcgrath26: Yep.
 * Alex: Nice to see new roommates here-
 * Chickenkrispies: Why are you guys being so nice to each other?
 * Alex: Uh, is there a problem with that?
 * Chickenkrispies: The teams just merged! Every player for themselves! You guys gotta be fierce if you wanna win this game-
 * [GuyBesideYou3 pulls Chickenkrispies away and brings him in the closet]
 * GuyBesideYou3: What the hell are you doing?!
 * Chickenkrispies: I’m telling them that they gotta stop being so nice! It’s a competition, not the school playground! Being nice won’t win them the game!
 * GuyBesideYou3: KRISPIES LISTEN TO ME! We have made it to the merge and the teams are dissolved. That means that from now on, nobody has your back. Being nice to people wins you allies. Being mean gets you out of the game. You’ve got to stop focusing on being “fierce” and make good strategy if you want to rebuild your KFC!
 * Chickenkrispies: Yeah… well… why do you care? Don’t you want the money too?
 * GuyBesideYou3: Yeah… a lot. But, believe it or not, I see you as a friend, and I don’t want you to throw away your chances like that. PLEASE make better decisions. [leaves the closet]
 * Chickenkrispies (in the confessional): Friend?
 * [Chickenkrispies leaves the closet]
 * Alex: Did you have a good time in the closet? What were you about to tell us?
 * Chickenkrispies: Uh… [looks at GuyBesideYou3] [looks back at Alex] I was just saying… it’s nice to see some new faces today. I was getting tired of my old roommates.
 * Alex: Oh, yeah. Me too. [glares at Sharko]
 * Sharko: Laundrystops.png
 * Chickenkrispies: [grins at GuyBesideYou3]
 * Chickenkrispies (in the confessional): Guy’s right. I gotta stop being so competitive and be nice to everybody else. It seems easy enough, but… ugh. Sharko will be a huge challenge.
 * GuyBesideYou3 (in the confessional): Honestly, I had to help Krispies. I haven’t been making too many allies right now, and most of the contestants just see me as someone they can pin all the gross stuff on. Making good with Krispies was just what I needed.
 * [Transition to the Liquid Leaders’ room]
 * Koolkitty108: -and that’s how I got on parole when I was 10 years old!
 * CartoonGuy: Wow, I didn’t know you were so evil.
 * TheKorraFanatic: Goddamn, you’re a supervillain, girl.
 * Mavnol333 (on the intercom): Just checking in on you guys. Are you all comfortable?
 * Alex: Yep.
 * Mavnol333 (on the intercom): Are you all relaxed?
 * Louis219: Pretty much.
 * Mavnol333 (on the intercom): Are you having fun?
 * Koolkitty108: Oh yeah, this is so much fun!
 * Mavnol333 (on the intercom): CRAP! This wasn’t how it was supposed to go! You were all supposed to be mad at each other and start fights! Way to ruin the ratings, you disappointments. With that terrible note out of the way, I want you all to meet me at the exit. It’s time for the first merge challenge!
 * TheKorraFanatic: Oh goodie. What kind of inhumane torment will we endure today?
 * Mavnol333 (on the intercom): Wow, your vocabulary’s growing. Good for you! Anyways, come to the exit to find out.
 * Sharko: [to team] C’mon guys! We’ve got another challenge! Laundrystops.png
 * Alex: No shit, Sherlock. [exits the room along with the others]
 * Sharko: Aw, I thought for sure people would laugh at that one.
 * [The contestants arrive at the exit]
 * Mavnol333: Hello there. Are you ready to start this next challenge?
 * Alex: Just tell us what we need to do so we can come back and eat.
 * Mavnol333: The intern’s body won’t be done for quite a while so you guys won’t be eating anytime soon. Meals aside, your challenge today will be a simple one. We will be heading over to Old Man Jenkins’ amphitheater, where you will all prep for a talent show!
 * TheKorraFanatic: Whoa, you’re sure running out of ideas.
 * Mavnol333: Incorrect. I have a lot of dangerous challenges planned. Hahaha. But today, you’ll catch a break. You all have 2 hours to prepare for your act. Me, Old Man Jenkins, and one of my interns will be the judges of this competition. Whichever contestant gets the highest score wins a reward, and the rest get diddly squat. However, in an event of a tie for first place, the tied contestants will be showing off a different talent that they have. Whoever performs the talent that the judges like more will win the reward. However, you guys will NOT be leaving this submarine just yet. You will stay here to prepare for the talent show.
 * TheKorraFanatic: Wow, how generous. This isn’t like you at all.
 * Mavnol333: I know, I’m in a good mood today. Now scat before you put me in a bad mood!
 * Cmcgrath26: Oh crap, I don’t want that! Hurry guys! Run!
 * Mavnol333: Wait, before you guys go!
 * TheKorraFanatic: Ugh, what else could you possibly-
 * Mavnol333: The contestant who gets the lowest score will be immediately eliminated from ESB Underwater and can never come back.
 * The contestants: [gasp]
 * Mavnol333: Now get a move on.
 * [The contestants run away from Mavnol]
 * Mavnol333: I definitely picked the right career. Now, back doing inhuman things. [walks into the kitchen]
 * [Transition to PlanKrab, Cmc, and SpongeTron sitting at a table in the dining area]
 * Cmcgrath26: So… what talent do you guys have?
 * PlanKrab: Well-
 * Sharko: [walks up to PlanKrab] Hey, you got a minute, alliance buddy?
 * SpongeTron D: [to PlanKrab] Did he just call you-
 * PlanKrab: Nope, he just called me buddy-er-er. Hehe. [gets up and follows Sharko]
 * Sharko: Hey, just figured we should be doing some strategizing.
 * PlanKrab: Strategizing? We’re supposed to be preparing for a talent show-er-er!
 * Sharko: Nah, I don’t need to practice. I got this in the bag. Anyways, I’ve been having second thoughts about eliminating Alex.
 * PlanKrab: What-er-er? Really?
 * Sharko (in the confessional): I didn’t expect the teams to merge so soon. Now that there’s no more teams, I need to make a bigger effort to get fiercer competitors on my side. And when the time comes, I’ll crush them.
 * Sharko: Yeah. You know how rough Alex was in the jellyfishing challenge right.
 * PlanKrab: Pfft, oh yeah. I bet you know too-er-er.
 * Sharko: We’ve got to get Alex on our side! We can use his fierceness to get farther in the game! He doesn’t like me at all, so can you talk to him for me?
 * PlanKrab: Uh, well-
 * Sharko: Thanks, you’re a pal. [walks off]
 * PlanKrab (in the confessional): Augh, really-er-er?! The last thing I need are MORE secret allies!
 * PlanKrab: [walks back to Cmc and SpongeTron’s table]
 * Cmcgrath26: What was that all about?
 * PlanKrab: Oh, uh, he just wanted to tell me another laundry stops-er-er joke.
 * Cmcgrath26: Ah, I figured.
 * [Transition to Louis and TheKorraFanatic in the Liquid Leaders’ room sitting on different beds while thinking]
 * Louis219: [to himself] Let’s see… talents, talents, talents…
 * TheKorraFanatic: [to himself] Augh, I can’t think of anything!
 * TheKorraFanatic (in the confessional): The only talent of mine that I could think of was drawing! Well guess what, we’re UNDERWATER! The paper will get soggy and ruined.
 * Louis219: Ooh, I know!
 * TheKorraFanatic: What? You thought of something?
 * Louis219: I’m good at making towers of cards. I could perform that!
 * TheKorraFanatic: Hm. Do you have any ideas for me? I’m stuck.
 * Louis219: Well, how loud are your burps?
 * TheKorraFanatic: Excuse me?
 * Louis219: I brought a lot of sodas to drink during the competition. [digs in his suitcase and gives Korra a soda] Chug it and see how loud you can burp.
 * TheKorraFanatic: Is this considered a talent?
 * Louis219: Hey, you gotta do something. Drink up.
 * TheKorraFanatic: Fine. [chugs a bottle of soda and lets out a moderately loud burp]
 * Louis219: Not bad, but you could use some practice. [gives Korra 10 sodas] Chug these 10 bottles of soda down and see how loud you can burp.
 * TheKorraFanatic: Oh Lord.
 * [Transition to GuyBesideYou3 in the dining area writing ideas down in a notebook]
 * GuyBesideYou3: [sigh]
 * Koolkitty108: [runs up to GuyBesideYou3] WHAT’S UP MY MAN?!
 * GuyBesideYou3: Ah, what the hell- don’t do that!
 * Koolkitty108: [talks quickly] Sorry, I’m just, like, so excited for this talent show! It’ll be so fun! What’s your talent GuyTalentYou3?
 * GuyBesideYou3: I haven’t thought of anything interesting to perform. What are you gonna do?
 * Koolkitty108: Oh, my talent is a total secret! Yeah, it’ll be great! Haha! [runs off]
 * Dedededeletethis: [walks up to GuyBesideYou3] What’s her problem?
 * GuyBesideYou3: Oh, the usual. Too much drugs before bed.
 * Dededeletethis: Hey, what’s your talent?
 * GuyBesideYou3: I don’t know. I don’t think I’m good at anything.
 * Dededeletethis: Oh, c’mon, everybody’s good at something. Remember the last challenge?
 * GuyBesideYou3: Yeah.
 * Dededeletethis: You rocked the swimming part of the challenge. Maybe swimming can be your performance.
 * GuyBesideYou3: Hmm… I might as well give it a shot. What’s your talent?
 * Dededeletethis: Oh, you’ll see.
 * [Transition to Albert’s Country drawing]
 * [TheKorraFanatic walks out of his room while drinking a soda]
 * TheKorraFanatic: [burps a really loud burp] That was great, but I could do better! [chugs more soda and walks over to Albert’s table]
 * Albert’s Country: What are you doing with all that soda?
 * TheKorraFanatic: Burping. What’s your talent?
 * Albert’s Country: I’m drawing the old ladies that are in my magazines.
 * TheKorraFanatic: Won’t they disintegrate in water?
 * Albert’s Country: Nah, I’m covering the paper with plastic wrap. Wanna see? [shows Korra the drawings]
 * TheKorraFanatic: [spits out his soda]
 * TheKorraFanatic (in the confessional): Okay… I had a hunch that he had a thing for 137 year-old ladies… and now I’m certain. [vomits]
 * TheKorraFanatic: Oh… wow, that’s... great. I’m just gonna… walk away now.
 * Albert’s Country: Alright. [continues drawing]
 * Mavnol333 (on the intercom): Hey, competitors! It has been 2 hours! Meet me at the exit so we can start the talent show!
 * Dededeletethis (in the confessional): Welp, it’s showtime. I bet people will love my talent!
 * TheKorraFanatic (in the confessional): I’ll admit, I’m a little bit nervous when it comes to performing in front of a crowd. What makes me even more nervous is the fact that I’ll be burping in front of them.
 * [The contestants arrive at the exit]
 * Mavnol333: Are you all ready to put on a show?
 * Alex: We’ve been putting on a show for 15 episodes now.
 * Mavnol333: Yep, and the ratings are through the roof, especially when your lives are in danger. Now, here are your helmets. [hands them out] Follow me and my fellow intern to Old Man Jenkins’ amphitheater!
 * [The contestants follow Mavnol and the intern out of the submarine]
 * PlanKrab: [follows Cmc] Did you plan out a performance-er-er?
 * Cmcgrath26: Oh, I didn’t need to do any planning. Trust me.
 * PlanKrab: Cool-er-er. I’m sure I’ll get a good score with my performance-er-er. Hehehe.
 * PlanKrab (in the confessional): I hate to spoil what I’m doing, but what the hell-er-er. I’m going to be giving each of the judges a handshake-er-er. You may be wondering how that’s a talent, but I’m the only being alive to be able to do what I’ll be doing.
 * Sharko: [follows PlanKrab] Did you ask Alex about joining our alliance yet?
 * PlanKrab: Well… no. I’ll do it after the performance though-er-er.
 * Sharko: Great!
 * PlanKrab (in the confessional): Believe it or not-er-er, I hope that Sharko bombs and loses today’s challenge. Hiding this alliance from SpongeTron-er-er and Cmc has been stressful.
 * Sharko: [walks up to Alex] Hey, man. Laundrystops.png
 * Alex: [shoves Sharko to the ground]
 * Sharko (in the confessional): I’ll win him over eventually.
 * [The contestants and Mavnol arrive to Old Man Jenkins’ front door]
 * Mavnol333: [knocks on door]
 * Old Man Jenkins: [opens the door] Who’s there?
 * Mavnol333: Yo, we’re the… giraffes... from the surface. Remember the reality show challenge I told you about last week?
 * Old Man Jenkins: I don’t even remember what I had for breakfast this morning.
 * Mavnol333: Whatever, just come with me.
 * Old Man Jenkins: Sure thing, little girl! I’ll buy your cookies!
 * Mavnol333: [mumbles to himself] We should’ve just stolen the damn amphitheater. [to Old Man Jenkins] Just come with me.
 * [Transition to outside Old Man Jenkins’ amphitheater]
 * Mavnol333: Alright, everyone, make your way up to the amphitheater so we can begin the show. Jenkins, this intern, and I will be sitting at that table that’s right in front of the amphitheater. We will be giving out our scores there.
 * [The contestants go behind the curtains of the amphitheater]
 * Mavnol333: First up is SpongeTron D!
 * [Curtains open]
 * SpongeTron D: Hey! Today, I’ll be dancing exactly like a robot.
 * Mavnol333: Sounds lame.
 * SpongeTron D: Hey, I’ve lived in a world where there are robots-er-er, um, robots, on every block! I know how these guys dance. [turns on a radio and starts dancing offscreen]
 * [Transition to the judges]
 * Mavnol333: Holy crap! That’s awesome! I feel sorry for whoever’s missing this!
 * [Transition back to SpongeTron]
 * SpongeTron D: Thank you.
 * Mavnol333: Easy 9/10. Never knew dancing like that was physically possible. Judges, what do you think?
 * Intern: 8.5/10.
 * Old Man Jenkins: Pfft, back in my day we didn’t do all of those crazy moves! Our dancing was graceful and harmless! 2/10!
 * SpongeTron D: Aw.
 * Mavnol333: That leaves SpongeTron with 19.5/30. Good, but probably won’t be good enough. SpongeTron, get off the stage. You’ll be sitting on the ground and watching the rest of the show.
 * [SpongeTron walks off stage and sits down]
 * Mavnol333: Next up is the one and only PlanKrab!
 * [Curtains open]
 * PlanKrab: Ahoy-er-er, me boys. I will be giving you three the Handshake of Persuasion!
 * Old Man Jenkins: What the fuck is a Milkshake of Television?
 * PlanKrab: [walks off stage and gives Mavnol a handshake]
 * Mavnol333: Whoa! Wow! Now THAT’s a handshake.
 * PlanKrab: [gives the intern a handshake]
 * Intern: Whoa, that’s the most comfort I’ve felt ever since I started working for Mavnol.
 * PlanKrab: [gives Old Man Jenkins a handshake]
 * Old Man Jenkins: Uh, how is this a “talent”, young man?
 * PlanKrab: What? It isn’t working-er-er?
 * Old Man Jenkins: My hands are fake. I lost them in the Vietnam War. Anyways, terrible act. This is NOT how you respect your elders. Giving you handshakes so they’ll give you a perfect score in return? Shameful. 0/10.
 * Mavnol333: Well, I give it a clear-cut 10. My hands are silky smooth right now.
 * Intern: Definitely a 10/10.
 * PlanKrab: Oh well-er-er, I did fine I guess.
 * PlanKrab (in the confessional): The Vietnam War?
 * Mavnol333: Well, PlanKrab earned 20 out of 30 points. Better than SpongeTron, but not by much. Go sit next to him, man.
 * [PlanKrab sits down]
 * Mavnol333: Next up is NextUpBesideYou3! Show us what you got!
 * [Curtain opens to reveal a pool]
 * Old Man Jenkins: What?! Who installed a pool on my amphitheater?!
 * Mavnol333: Go!
 * GuyBesideYou3: So, my talent is swimming, apparently. [gets in the pool]
 * Mavnol333: What will you be doing in there?
 * GuyBesideYou3: Uh… swimming? [moves around in the water]
 * Mavnol333: Wow, what a glorious talent you got there. Judges?
 * Intern: Well, there was barely an act, but his bathing suit looked so cool! I swear, I saw sharks on them. Bad act, nice appearance. 5/10.
 * Mavnol333: Agreed, sucky performance, nice clothes. I’d wear them. 5/10
 * Old Man Jenkins: Hell, that guy just installed a pool for FREE on my amphitheater! 10/10!
 * Mavnol333: That leaves PoolBesideYou3 tied for first place with PlanKrab. Go take a seat.
 * [GuyBesideYou3 gets out of the pool and sits down on the ground]
 * Mavnol333: Next up is Dededeletethis!
 * [Curtain opens]
 * Mavnol333: What will you be performing today?
 * Dededeletethis: I’ll be singing “My Superhero Movie” from the Teen Titans Go! Movie.
 * Mavnol333: Go for it.
 * Dededeletethis: [picks up a mic from the table and starts singing] It would be so awesome… it would be so cool… it would be the most incredible superhero movie the world has ever seen! The screens would light up…
 * [A colorful light show occurs in the background]
 * Dededeletethis: ...with real explosions and SPECIAL EFFECTS! With tons and tons of SPECIAL EFFECTS!
 * [Transition to PlanKrab, SpongeTron D, and GuyBesideYou3]
 * PlanKrab: Wow-er-er. This is amazing.
 * GuyBesideYou3: The singing, the light show, the movements! It’s perfect!
 * Dededeletethis: ...They’ll be lining up to a movie all about me! No longer the sidekick, no that’s not me! Picture my booty up in 3D!...
 * [Transition to the judges]
 * Mavnol333: [sheds a tear] So beautiful.
 * Dededeletethis: ...Sidekicks are lame! Now I’m the superhero putting villains to shame! D-E-D-E-D-E is the name! Oh, and I’d have my own hero music too! It’d go, bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom-
 * [A realistic explosion occurs in the background]
 * Dededeletethis: -BOOM! It would play every time that I entered a room and I’d say my sweet and ominous catchphrase: crack an egg on it! Caw-caw!
 * [Transition to the other contestants behind the curtain]
 * Alex: Goddamn…
 * Alex (in the confessional): Eh, so much for getting first. I just hope Sharko gets booted.
 * Dededeletethis: ...yeah, it’s all about me! [stops singing]
 * [The judges stand up and applaud]
 * Mavnol333: Bravo! Bravo! [blows into a tissue]” Judges?
 * Old Man Jenkins and Intern: 10.
 * Mavnol333: Agreed. Dededeletethis has gotten a perfect 30!
 * Dededeletethis: What? No way?!
 * Dededeletethis (in the confessional): I’ve memorized that song ever since the movie released. I spent that two hours perfecting the light show and explosions.
 * Mavnol333: That was great. I can’t imagine having to follow that up. And now, following that up, Sweetheart!
 * [Curtain opens]
 * TheKorraFanatic: Good God…
 * Mavnol333: So my man, what do you have in store today?
 * TheKorraFanatic: I’m the… uh, loudest belcher you’ve ever seen.
 * Mavnol333: Really? Alright then. Entertain me.
 * TheKorraFanatic: Whatever you say. [picks up three 12-packs of sodas and opens them]
 * Mavnol333: 36 sodas…?
 * TheKorraFanatic: [starts chugging the sodas]
 * Mavnol333 (in the confessional): I’ve never seen somebody drink sodas so violently before.
 * TheKorraFanatic: [belches an insanely loud burp that breaks his helmet off] [runs around screaming]
 * Mavnol333: HAHAHAHA! Ouch! I figured one of you would do something clumsy, so I came prepared. [gets a helmet from under the table and puts it on Korra’s head]
 * TheKorraFanatic: [breathes heavily] Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God.
 * Mavnol333: Thanks for almost dying, Sweetheart. Really, the ratings will SKYROCKET today! Anyways, I would’ve given you like a 7/10, but almost drowning gave me a pretty big laugh, so I’m giving you an 8.5/10.
 * Intern: That burp was so loud! Cool! 9/10!
 * Old Man Jenkins: Ugh, kids today don’t know what manners are. 3.5/10.
 * Mavnol333: Sweetheart got 21 out of 30 points. He managed to beat PlanKrab and GuyBesideYou3, but not Dededeletethis.
 * [Korra sits by the others]
 * Mavnol333: Our next performance will be by Chickenkrispies! Let’s see what you got!
 * [Curtain opens with Krispies holding a bucket of KFC chicken]
 * Mavnol333: [mumbles to himself] Oh, it looks like he snagged his chicken back. No matter, it was getting moldy anyways. [to Krispies] What will you be doing with this chicken?
 * Chickenkrispies: I’ll be eating this entire bucket of KFC chicken in 10 seconds!
 * Mavnol333: Nice. 3, 2, 1, go for it.
 * Chickenkrispies: [stuffs his face into the bucket and eats like a dog] Finished!
 * Mavnol333: That was 3 seconds... but still, very impressive. Judges?
 * Intern: 9.5/10! I’ve never seen anybody eat that fast before!
 * Mavnol333: Agreed. Plus, you reminded me of my cute little puppy back on the surface. Too bad I turned him into a carpet before I came down here. 9.5/10.
 * Old Man Jenkins: Huh? Oh, sorry. I wasn’t paying attention, so, 5/10.
 * Chickenkrispies: Really? You didn’t watch?!
 * Old Man Jenkins: RESPECT YOUR ELDERS YOUNG LADY! Just for that, you get a .5 demotion! 4.5/10.
 * Chickenkrispies: Crap.
 * Mavnol333: That makes 23.5 points for Krispies! So far, nobody has beaten Dededeletethis yet! Go sit down.
 * Chickenkrispies: Augh… something’s coming back up… [vomits in the pool]
 * Old Man Jenkins: Really? Just for that, you get another demotion! 4/10!
 * Mavnol333: I guess that makes 23 points. Sit down Krispies.
 * Chickenkrispies (in the confessional): Man, I shouldn’t have eaten that moldy chicken… [vomits]
 * Mavnol333: CartoonGuy’s the next one up!
 * [Curtain opens]
 * CartoonGuy: For this performance, I’ll need a volunteer from the audience to help me out.
 * SpongeTron D: [raises his hand]
 * CartoonGuy: Come on up!
 * [SpongeTron D gets on the stage]
 * CartoonGuy: Here’s your lines. [hands SpongeTron a script] I’ll be performing a short skit. I’m a cranky old person who’s ordering a McDonald’s meal.
 * Mavnol333: This’ll be good.
 * CartoonGuy: [in an old man voice] Dagnabit! Why is everything so goddamn expensive?!
 * SpongeTron D: [reading the script] But sir, our burgers only cost five dollars…
 * CartoonGuy: [in an old man voice] Back in my day, burgers used to cost a dime! Gosh darned food joints these days! I’m going home to make my OWN burger that doesn’t cost a cent, put it in a blender, and eat it through a straw! I hope you choke on your patties you damned teenager!
 * Old Man Jenkins: 10/10! Fantastic! Give him a nickel! Hahaha!
 * Mavnol333: I’ll admit that it was a great impression, but it reminds me too much of my grandfather, who was the most annoying old motherfucker to walk the Earth. So, you’re only getting 7.5/10.
 * Intern: 9/10. I related to the cashier on a personal level.
 * CartoonGuy: Great!
 * Mavnol333: That leaves CartoonGuy with 26.5 out of 30 points! Pretty good, but not good enough to beat Dededeletethis.
 * Old Man Jenkins: Bullshit! Who cares about light shows?! That guy was hilarious!
 * Mavnol333: Shut up, old man. Next up is Cmcgrath26!
 * [Curtains open]
 * Cmcgrath26: Hey, uh, today I’m going to be sharing tons of rat trivia in 30 seconds.
 * Mavnol333: Interesting. And kinda gross. Proceed.
 * Cmcgrath26: [ahem] [speaks rapidly] Rats can’t swim, a group of rats is called a ‘mischief’, rats are nocturnal, rats live underground, rats have super strong teeth that never stop growing, rats spread diseases among humans, rats can hear well, including sounds that are too high-pitched for humans to hear, rats are able to see what’s above them without looking up, their whiskers are more sensitive than human fingertips, rats’ long tails are used for balance and to keep themselves cool, they’re able to hold their breath for several minutes, and a single rat can leave 25,000 droppings a year!
 * Mavnol333: Well… that was something. I guess that was interesting, except for the droppings stuff. Did not need to know about that. Still, impressive that you could say all that in 30 seconds. 7.5/10.
 * Intern: Trivia is for geeks like Mavnol. 5/10.
 * Old Man Jenkins: My, that’s very interesting little girl! 8/10!
 * Cmcgrath26 (in the confessional): Is this guy blind, or does he just assume genders?
 * Mavnol333: Those rat facts earned Cmc 20.5 out of 30 points. Good, but not good enough to take the lead. Take a seat.
 * [Cmc sits down]
 * PlanKrab: [to Cmc] 25,000?
 * Cmcgrath26: Yeah.
 * Mavnol333: Koolkitty is the next contestant up! Now THIS will be interesting.
 * [Curtain opens to reveal Koolkitty in olden time clothing]
 * Mavnol333: Uh, what are you doing in that?
 * Koolkitty108: [talks quickly] Oh, the other night, I snuck out of the submarine and went to see an opera! A female kitchen sponge was performing it and it was so good! I, like, just HAD to perform it here.
 * Mavnol333: Alright. Entertain me.
 * Koolkitty108: [ahem] [in a high-pitched squeaky voice] DeEeaRrR fRieEeEnD, dOn’t SaAaaAAAY tHaT it’S alLl OoOoOoVeR! As LoOoNg aS i BrEaThE, i WiLl ChErIsH OuR bOoOoOoNd!
 * Mavnol333: Augh! Stop! Stop! Please!
 * Koolkitty108: What? You don’t like it?
 * Mavnol333: Hell no. 1/10.
 * Old Man Jenkins: Ah, my hearing aid! 1/10!
 * Intern: Hahahaha! That impression of a nerdy middle school kid trying to sing was spot-on! 9/10!
 * Koolkitty108: But it wasn’t an impress- oh, I mean, sure, thanks!
 * Mavnol333: Koolkitty has gotten 11 points, which puts her at the very bottom. Hopefully, Louis219 will save us from her suckitude.
 * [Curtains open to reveal Louis about to put the last card on his tower of cards]
 * [The tower collapses]
 * Louis219: AUGH, STUPID SON OF A BITCH!
 * Mavnol333: Man, there’s been a lot of profanity today. Anyways, you didn’t save us from Koolkitty’s suckitude. I figured. 3/10.
 * Old Man Jenkins: Huh? Wha? I didn’t pay attention again. 5/10.
 * Intern: 3.5/10.
 * Mavnol333: That leaves Louis with 11.5 out of 30. Better than Koolkitty, but barely. So, congrats, bro. You’re still in the game.
 * Louis219: Phew. [gets off stage and sits down]
 * Mavnol333: With those two smelly acts out of the way, it’s Sharko’s time to shine!
 * [Curtains open]
 * Sharko: Today, I’m going to break the world record for “most jokes told in 10 seconds”.
 * Mavnol333: Wow, a world record! Go for it.
 * Sharko: Laundrystops.png Laundrystops.png Laundrystops.png Laundrystops.png Laundrystops.png Laundrystops.png Laundrystops.png Laundrystops.png Laundrystops.png Laundrystops.png Laundrystops.png Laundrystops.png Laundrystops.png Laundrystops.png Laundrystops.png Laundrystops.png Laundrystops.png Laundrystops.png Laundrystops.png Laundrystops.png Laundrystops.png Laundrystops.png Laundrystops.png Laundrystops.png Laundrystops.png Laundrystops.png Laundrystops.png Laundrystops.png Laundrystops.png Laundrystops.png Laundrystops.png Laundrystops.png Laundrystops.png Laundrystops.png Laundrystops.png Laundrystops.png Laundrystops.png Laundrystops.png Laundrystops.png Laundrystops.png Laundrystops.png Laundrystops.png Laundrystops.png Laundrystops.png Laundrystops.png Laundrystops.png Laundrystops.png Laundrystops.png Laundrystops.png Laundrystops.png Laundrystops.png Laundrystops.png Laundrystops.png Laundrystops.png Laundrystops.png Laundrystops.png Laundrystops.png Laundrystops.png Laundrystops.png Laundrystops.png Laundrystops.png Laundrystops.png Laundrystops.png Laundrystops.png Laundrystops.png Laundrystops.png Laundrystops.png Laundrystops.png Laundrystops.png
 * Mavnol333: 69 jokes in 10 seconds! Wow, you beat a world record on MY SHOW! Thanks for the ratings, bro. 9.5/10.
 * Intern: I don’t get it. 5/10.
 * Old Man Jenkins: That’s nothing compared to the cranky senior boy! 6.5/10!
 * Mavnol333: That’s 21 points for Sharko. Not first place, but at least he remains in the game.
 * Alex (in the confessional): Damn.
 * [Sharko sits next to PlanKrab]
 * Sharko: You like the show?
 * PlanKrab: Oh, uh, yeah-er-er.
 * Sharko: Great. I wonder what Alex’s talent will be.
 * Mavnol333: Next one up is Alex!
 * [Curtains open to reveal Alex standing next to a dummy with a picture of Sharko’s face on the head]
 * Sharko: Huh?
 * Alex: My talent is… knocking off the head of a mannequin in one punch!
 * Mavnol333: Sounds impressive. Shoot.
 * Alex: [mumbles to himself] This is Sharko, this is Sharko, this is Sharko. [yells really loudly and ends up punching half of the mannequin off]
 * Mavnol333: Wow man, you’ve got a lot of fire in your arms. 8.5/10!
 * Intern: That was so cool! 10/10!
 * Old Man Jenkins: That reminded me of the good old days of when I was a boxer. 8/10.
 * Mavnol333: That leaves Alex with 26.5 points. Pretty good. We only have one more performance left and Dededeletethis is still in the lead. But that may change right now. Albert, you’re up last!
 * [Curtain opens to reveal Alex standing next to a projector]
 * Mavnol333: What will you be projecting, Albert?
 * Albert’s Country: I spent all day drawing the old ladies in my magazines! Check them out! [projects them]
 * Mavnol333: Huh- wha-? AHHHHHH! Take it off! TAKE IT OFF! This is a family show! We don’t accept drawings of nude old ladies on our show! God, that was so disgusting! [vomits]
 * Intern: [eyes melt out of his head]
 * Old Man Jenkins: [has a stroke] Augh!
 * Albert’s Country: [turns off the projector]
 * Mavnol333: [stops vomiting] Oh God. Oh God. Gross. Yeah, that was a full-on 0/10 from me. And since Old Man Jenkins will be going to the hospital in a few minutes, and my intern lost his eyes, they won’t be able to vote and I’m probably gonna be sued. That means that Albert got 0 out of 30 points! You’re out of the game!
 * Albert’s Country: What?! NOOO!
 * Mavnol333: Oh God, my eyes. My blood pressure. Ugh. Anyways, let’s all head over to Rock Bottom so we can get Albert’s bus ticket and Dededeletethis his reward.
 * Mavnol333: Dededeletethis, as the winner of the challenge, you win an actual meal tonight. [hands bus ticket to Albert] As for you, I recommend you give up drawing and take up something else. Like tennis. Cya, man. You’re eliminated.
 * A voice: Not so fast!
 * Mavnol333: Huh? Who said that?
 * A voice: I did!
 * [Former competitor, 9/17, busts through the bus station door]
 * Mavnol333: 9/17? What are you doing here? I thought you were in prison for causing me temporary brain damage!
 * 9/17: Yeah, well, my parents ended up bailing me out, so now I’m free.
 * Mavnol333: You might be out of jail, buuuuut, you’re still out, bro.
 * 9/17: On the contrary, Alex was supposed to go home the day I was sent to jail. So technically, I was never officially eliminated.
 * Mavnol333: Damn it, you’re right.
 * 9/17: And now that I’m back, Alex is gone!
 * Mavnol333: Nah, I’m eliminating Albert instead. I’d take Alex over creep anyday.
 * 9/17: Augh!
 * Mavnol333: Anyways, players, say hi to an old friend. 9/17.
 * Louis219: Really?
 * TheKorraFanatic: Ugh.
 * Alex: No fair!
 * Mavnol333: Life’s not fair, Alex. And neither is this game. Speaking of this game, that’s it for this episode! What kind of tea will 9/17 stir up, and will I stop vomiting every time I think of Albert’s drawings…? [vomits] Find out next time on ESB Underwater… [vomits] Ugh, that was so fucking sick!
 * [Credits play]